What Else Is In Scott's Head?

The blog site for writer Scott C. Smith. Some observations on the world we live in and life in general. And maybe some politics.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

The GOP Convention, Night Two: Those Wacky Twins

I have a confession: I did not watch the Democratic convention. Well, maybe about 10 minutes worth. But that's it. So now I'm watching the GOP convention. I'm not sure why, either. Lots of speeches about how George W. Bush has apparently saved the entire world not only from terrorists, but he also, secretly, used the Space Shuttle Atlantis to fend off an alien invasion from a nearby star system. Okay, I'm not sure about that last one.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's speech was well received and inspiring.

And then there was the Bush twins.

Someone once said children should be seen and not heard. In this case, I agree. Holy crap, someone made a huge mistake in deciding to let Jenna and Barbara "speak" at the convention. Also, and I'm certain I'm not alone in this sentiment, but I don't think America is ready for sex jokes aimed at former First Lady Barbara Bush. Seriously. I'm not sure America will ever be ready for sex jokes aimed at former First Lady Barbara Bush.

Also, the young women spoke for, I believe, a day. At least that's how it felt. Each joke hit the convention audience like a teenage Laura Bush driving through a Midland, Texas stop sign.

Okay, that last part was uncalled for. How about "like a 30-year-old George W. Bush driving drunk into a hedge?" Yeah, I like that one better, but I'm too lazy to change the Laura Bush joke. Sorry.

I suspect we'll never learn the identity of the person who wrote the material for the twins, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton. It's a little-know fact that she started her career as a comedy writer for the failed Joan Rivers talk show. Okay, that's a lie, but it's not important.

So, to sum up: parents, if you happen to be the President and First Lady of the United States, keep your kids out of the public eye. Or, in the case of Jeb Bush, keep your daughter away from forged Xanax prescriptions. Or, in the case of Barbara and George H.W. Bush, keep your sons away from booze and banking.


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